No time to waste
As you know, today is the feast day of St. Agnus, martyr; St. Bardulf, abbot; St. Calminius, duke of Aquitaine, confessor; St. Cumin, bishop; St. Donatus of Orléans, priest; St. Elaphius, bishop of Châlons-sur-Marne; St. Guennin, bishop of Vannes; St. John Eudes, priest; St. Louis, bishop of Toulouse, confessor; St. Magnus, martyr, confessor, bishop; St. Mochteus, bishop of Louth, Ireland; St. Renatus, bishop of Angers; St. Sebald, confessor; SS. Timothy, Agapius and Thecla, martyrs. You'll have your work cut out for you praying to that lot today.
In association with Mrs Haverty Promotions, International
The Herald is a non-discriminating employer. If you know of any saints' days, or gods' festivals that we have missed out, please write to The Old Geezers with full details, including martyrdom, miracles, mixed-animal, multiple-head etc. Ed.
2 comments:
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Praise be!
Praise be to He Who Is The Only One! The cult of personality surrounding those who have cut open tomatoes and rearranged the seeds into messages reading "The Virgin Mary Is Crying" is a Catholic abomination!
I do hope the Willesden Herald (which I have read religiously since I arrived in this country) is not pandering to cults whose only reason for being is to make money from He Who Is The Only One.
Praise be!
Gladys Abanjo (Mrs)
Trinity Road Baptists
Post by : Gladys Abanjo (Mrs) (webcacheh02a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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Is this the same Mrs Abanjo...
Is this the same Mrs Abanjo who travelled from Willesden with the Church of Edward the Confessor Catholic Congregation to the blessed shrine of Bernadette at Lourdes in order to attempt to cure her limp?
Post by : Monsignor Bruce Fosters (webcacheh02a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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Praise be!
Praise to He Who Is The Only One for ensuring that I left Willesden with a limp and returned with a limp. It is in His plan, and my foolishness in falling for the de luxe travel plan offered by the business wing of this cult of personality surrounding the shrine at Lourdes is my own reward from Him who blessed me at birth with a gammy leg.
Praise be!
Gladys Abanjo (Mrs)
Post by : Gladys Abanjo (Mrs) (webcacheh02a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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Worship with us
Worship with us at the Home Church of the Plain Redeemer, Cricklewood Boulevard. All other churches are controlled by mentally-ill self-interested charlatans who Do Not Know Their Saviour!
Repent and come to us that you may be saved.
Open 7 days a week. Free. (Voluntary Donation of £5 suggested)
Simon Simpson
Plain Pastor
Post by : Simon Simpson (webcacheh02a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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Plain Pasta, more like
Plain Pasta more like.
The guy's a noodle.
Post by : Gordon 'Gadge' Graham (webcacheh02a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
Perhaps "Plain Pastiche" is more to the point.
Post by : Dr. Sigismund Fried (cache-dp09.proxy.aol.com / )
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Clever words don't put out the fires
Clever words don't put out the fires of Hell. Meditate on that while the flames roast you, and meditate that the congregation of the Home Church of the Plain Redeemer will be feasting at the table of the Lord in one of the many rooms of His mansion and no doubt afterwards we shall be cooling off in His deluxe swimming pool after our repasts with Our Divine Host. And there will be grapes, yes, grapes so big that they will take two men to support one bunch, and they will be dropped into our open mouths, peeled by handmaidens as you roast in the bowels of the Earth.
Simon Simpson
Serving the Light as an Apostle of the Plain Redeemer.
Post by : Simon Simpson (webcacheh11a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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Fruit Cake
You're a fruit cake, pal. I notice you drive a nice Lexus though so perhaps you're not as dull as the dull-witted dupes who fund your lifestyle.
Gadge Graham
Apostle of the Narcotic Pain Reliever
Post by : 'Gadge' Graham (webcacheh11a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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Don't upset yourselves unduly. Sure aren't we all in the same boat. Treat yourself, pamper yourself. Remember, a little of what you fancy does you good, but all in moderation. Remember, hard work never killed anybody, but there's always a first time. I don't follow the ins and outs of the theology, but when you get right down to it, they all like their little bit of fun, whether it be the craythur or the divil knows what.
Post by : Mrs Haverty (host81-129-72-191.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )
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Plain Pastiche
I was pleased to see someone remembers Marco Foucault and The Plain Pastiche. What a shame the reference was missed by others, all the more so since the readership is Willesdonian.
Marco and his band's pan-European summer of 1977 chart smash (Woo Hoo) We're All Doing The Willesden Hustle failed to register in their own country despite reaching number One in 14 European countries and the top Five in Australia and New Zealand. The good news is that the lads are still gigging and play at regular weekenders from Caister to Morecambe alonside other legendary outfits like Mud and Showaddywaddy.
Post by : Terry de Beaver - Musico (webcacheh05a.cache.pol.co.uk / )
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janey mac it's all double-dutch to me, i think i'll stick to englebert
Post by : Mrs Haverty (host81-129-72-191.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )
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Relative Associations
You people of the West need a wake-up call. Take a lesson from Eastern cults. Maharishi Yashi has said it all in his sequel to the Bhagavad Rita: Heaven and Hell are not the issues... big grapes are. Preferably squeezed and bottled.
Simple Simon may have been on the right track, but he's taken a left turn and become a bog person. Excuse my Inglish. I can't relate to the phrase 'bogged down' as it is too ambiguous.
Post by : BananaRamah (cache-rq06.proxy.aol.com / )
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