Now incorporating The Sudbury Hill Harrow and Wherever End Times

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Prelude and Fugue

Things aren't out to get you, it's you who are clumsy.
...The train wasn't late, you missed it.
It's not that what you wanted wasn't there, but you,
...You looked like you were moving, yet no more
Than the swaying of trees that answer only to the wind,
...And move only to stay where they are.
Your actions are like the flickering of a candle flame
...As the time it measures dwindles
.........to no more.

But trees don't walk. Don't wait for trees to walk,
...Go and caress them, whisper to their silence.
And if you quench a candle with your lips tonight,
...Relight it tomorrow night
.........with your hands.

--
Stephen Moran

Note: The dots are to simulate indentation, which is not possible in the normal way on Blogger.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Friday, December 11, 2015

How to open walnuts



"Don't use a nutcracker. Apart from being very hard to crack with a nutcracker, the walnut will break into fragments. You might even put someone's eye out with flying pieces of shell. Here's a much easier way to open it and get the walnut out in better shape. Trust me, you'll never go back to using a nutcracker."

Willesden Herald Kitchen Testing Laboratories # 7

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Conversations with the first alien scout

"Ni hao? Hola? Hello?"
"Wotcha."
"Hmm. Wie geht's? Pryvet?"
"Yewoh?"
"Shalom?"
"Wos yer game!?"

"What is your energy source?"
"We eat stuff."
"Okaaay. Crude. How long do you live?"
"About 80 years."
"What!? Are you serious?"
"'fraid so."

"Is there a waste output resulting from this 'eating'? I'd like to see it."
"No you wouldn't."

"I like what you've done with that star."
"We didn't do anything, it was like that."

"We don't have a planet of our own."
"Oh yeh?"
"Did you notice you have a loose roof tile there?"

Bob Harmless

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

Oak terrorising a hawthorn

Oak scaring the hell out of a hawthorn (left)

Dublin Christmas streets

Harry Lemon has been to Dublin and reports that it was looking good, albeit the stormy weather was inimical to brass monkeys.#dublin #christmas #christmaslights #carolsingers

Posted by The Willesden Herald on Monday, 30 November 2015

Tuesday, December 01, 2015

The weight of words

The number of all the raindrops that have ever fallen on England
Raised to the number of all the birth cries of every child ever born
Times the number of sighs from every unrequited lover since Eden
To the power of all the glints of sunlight on water present or future
By the total number of jellybeans in a big fairground jar, squared,
Times all the flakes of snow that have ever fallen on Japan,
In words,
Would not outweigh a pinch of bog cotton
As would make a pillow for a dormouse.

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