Bob's your uncle: 1. Opera

Great new series!

I'm not saying Paddy O'Toole knows nothing about opera, but he thought "Donna non vidi mai" meant "Woman don't give me the clap."

Bob Harmless

Ed's mug beats £20k

Review - Pulp.Net

Twenty grand can't buy you vivacity, twenty grand can't buy you newness, but for a very small consideration, the price of a mug perhaps, you can buy the book that's got more reaction than the stuffy old National short story anthology with its list of dead authors on the cover. If you think our review is not too dazzling, look at the low wattage of theirs.

P. O'Toole

Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 1 (out now)

The best of the international Willesden Herald short story prize* with writing from Britain, India, Ireland, Japan, New Zealand and the US. A feast of new short stories from these award-winning and brilliant writers: Willie Davis, Steve Finbow, James Lawless, Lee Joans, Nicholas Hogg, Wes Lee, Vanessa Gebbie, Jonathan Attrill, Laura Solomon, Shakti Bhatt, Laura Heggie, Olesya Mishechkina, Arthur Allan (in order of appearance).

Underground classics: look cool while missing your stop. Click to read excerpts and more:
NewShortStories.com.

U.K. & Ireland

Amazon.co.uk

U.S.

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble

Other countries

Amazon international sites

All online and independent high street bookshops

Now available to order. Ref. "Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 1", editor Stephen Moran. ISBN 0977852628

P O'Toole

* From the International Willesden Herald. "Arse gratia artis". Royalties to Comic Relief.

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An evening with Louise Jefferson

We fixed you up with Stella Duffy f.o.c, and now we give you another exotic companion for one night, gratis. Plus, we make sure nobody smashes your windows exxetera, as long as you keep clicking on dis site.

P O'Toole

World exclusive: Free books*

Willesden Green Writers

Follow the link to get a free (cost of postage only) copy of the Arts Council award-winning anthology The Monkey's Typewriter from Willesden Green writers group; or if you're a writer, join the group any Thursday night in the Willesden Library Centre, NW10.

P. O'Toole, Marketing Dept.

* While stocks last

Chamberlayne Road hit by tornado

Pictures and report (SkyNews)



Just round the corner from Willesden Herald house, some houses have been partly destroyed, at least ten roofs visibly damaged*, rubble piled in the street, cars damaged. Several people have been treated for minor injuries. According to an eye-witness (on the BBC lunchtime news) it was about 25 metres wide and dark with whirling debris.

There was also a loud thunderstorm this morning accompanied by a heavy shower of hailstones. All about 11 a.m.

* Update

SkyNews is now reporting a hundred houses damaged. BBC says "up to 150". Here is the BBC report with a link to a video. There have been helicopters overhead all afternoon.

SkyNews watching by Nick Grimes, BBC watching by Feargal Mooney, pictures and videos monitored by Onion Mbeke. Syndication: Sphagnum WH Consortium (contact P. O'Toole)

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Dig it

The horror of scratching a blackboard with fingernails, and aversion to the horrible sound of grinding a pebble must come from the fact that fingernails and teeth have no feeling. Digging in the ground for roots, aversion to the sensation of scratching stone would protect one's fingers. When biting a peach the squeak of the tooth on stone is a warning to prevent damage. If the sound meant nothing we might damage our teeth. Were it not for the aversion to scratching a stone we might damage our fingers. Even thinking about these things "sets one's teeth on edge".

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Hear that Nature? New Scientist? Syndication enquiries: contact P. O'Toole. Ed

Letters

Yes, we have gone away actually

We note Barry Barton's statement issued this morning that he has decided it's time to move on, and call off his campaign against the so-called Willesden Herald. On behalf of the Campaign to Restore Abused Privacy we confirm that his statement accurately reflects our position. We will take steps to put our instruments of graffiti and hacking beyond use, verifiably.

P O'Toole

Up with C.R.A.P! We will destroy the Herald.

P O'Toole

Barry Barton is innocent

a statement from the Campaign to Restore Abused Privacy

C.R.A.P. has seized control of new messages on the Willesden Herald's website. We want readers to know that an innocent man's life and career has been ruined by the indiscretion of the Willesden editor's organ. Mr Barton specifically stated that his name and address was not for publication, and yet Dr Gerald Francis's article and Ms Bone-Jakon's actions as detailed in her reply, have combined to force mehim to go into hiding.

Unfortunately due to the bizarre and incompetent way the Herald's website is programmed, it is not possible to change messages because they are posted by wire. But we demand a full written apology and significant compensation for Mr Barton. Otherwise we will keep this site closed to your journalists and we will also be instructing counsel, the very learned and respected Prof. Lord Skyddmark q.c. to commence proceedings for libel.

P. O'Toole