with Mona Bone-Jakon
Dear Mona,
My black thigh high stockings shift drastically downward from my large, dimply thighs so that by the end of an evening, when I am most ready to reveal my hidden charms, my lovely legs, generally my best feature, appear elephantine, wrinkles, et al. I have tried various adhesives with no luck at all.
Please advise and quickly! I have a hot date tomorrow night with a new suitor.
Signed,
a Southern Belle
Mona replies
The secret of stocking adhesion was given to me by a famous supermodel, Helga Hoffenpuffen. Dispense with your present method of depilation, and get yourself one of those G-------* three blade razors. Remove the first two blades carefully and then shave your legs with the resultant implement in such a way as to leave only imperceptible stubs of the hair follicles standing proud. You will find that your stockings no longer slip. Before the night is out, your new beau will be inviting you to join him on the floor for the Tennessee Wigwam. Laissez les bon temps rouler!
*They can pay the Herald if they want an advert. Ed.
Send your problems to Mona Bone-Jakon at Dear Mona. Mona regrets that, due to the volume of letters received, she cannot enter into any personal correspondence.
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