For the love of Mike

If policemen and women make tea and use cartons with stupid caps that don't work properly, why don't they charge whoever designed the blasted things with wasting police time? While the designers are in court they can ask the judge to take into account piddly motorway services teapots that pour mostly on the table instead of into the cup, lousy vendor machines that mug people, and sundry other counts of obtaining money under false pretences. I never thought I'd come to appreciate the original wing-flap spout as a brilliant triumph of design by comparison with these untested piles of suppurating ordure masquerading as helpful devices.

Victor Meldrew