Established 2003. Now incorporating The Sudbury Hill Harrow and Wherever End Times

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Legal team on standby

Our solicitors, Crapstone Bumwilley Scrotum Scrotum and Haversack, are on standby* to issue a writ if Mr Jeremy Vine persists in introducing his radio program with a phrase very similar to our motto "All the news that's unfit to print" as he did today. [Exhibit A.] We will be listening carefully to ensure that the prefix "un" is not added.

*Either young Mr Scrotum or old Mr Scrotum himself will be handling the case (an indication of the importance we attach to this matter.)

1 comment:

Comments 2003-2004 said...

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It will be either young Mr Scrotum or old Mr Scrotum who deals with the matter.

Post by : FM (host81-128-246-113.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )


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I recommend those solicitors. Our youngest was up on criminal damage and shoplifting charges and he was already on a 2 year bender but Mr Crapstone was marvellous. He lied his head off and got him off. He's a better liar than our Edgar, you should have heard him. I almost believed him myself in the end. Well worth the money and he said he'd waive his fees if we introduced 5 asylum seekers to him so he could get the legal aid. Since Johnny is a builder that was no problem and we were actually able to pay for our Christmas by introducing 27 to him, so it was a double whammy because these 27 built our bungalow over on the Hendon Way for us.

Hope this helps.

Post by : Tina Humphreys (webcacheh09b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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Seconded

I second that. They are excellent lawyers. They have got me off a few times. As Tina (hi Tina!) says, Mr Crapstone is a top liar and the others are no slouches in that department either. Ms Haversack is especially good because she is quite young and looks innocent. Haha. Crikey, I wouldn't trust her to look after my cat. She is a brilliant liar, easily the best woman liar I have met.

Post by : Bob John (webcacheh04a.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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Thirded

I can vouch for that. I was recently presenting the police's case against T... B...., a well-known local bare-faced larcenist. By the time Ms Haversack had finished with me I thought I had done the crime myself. I was convinced of it. I didn't know whether I wanted a sh*t or a shampoo. She is a wonder to behold at work. Barristers generally are wonderful liars but the aforrementioned firm are the creme de la creme when it comes to dishonesty.

Post by : DC Ruston Bucyrus (webcacheh10a.cache.pol.co.uk / )