Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Why did the fictional chicken cross the road?  

Realism:
Because it would do the same thing, day in and day out, until it was hit by a car and exploded in a puff of feathers and blood.

Surrealism:
To lead the sheep to a cocktail party in the abattoir.

Magic Realism:
It's not a chicken, it's a peacock.

Fantasy:
To fulfill the prophecy of Clucknomush.

Science Fiction:
To renew the road surface with its asphalt GM chicken shit.

Romance:
To run at last into the outstretched wings of her darkly handsome capon.

Western:
That don't make no never mind.

Horror:
"That's strange - let's go over and investigate..."

Historical Fiction:
Because it was scared when King Richard's horse bolted throwing the king to the ground outside the inn kept by Nell Golightly's father.

Mystery:
That was the nagging question at the back of Jack Waterford's mind, as his car pulled up at the scene of the incident.

Family Saga:
Uncle Pat said he knew, and cousin Eleanor was sure she knew better, but Aunt Kate had the best explanation.

Adventure:
There was an island in the middle of the road and the chicken was a red one, setting out to find the fabled home of the Road Island Reds.

Anthropomorphism:
The chicken was feeling peckish and thought she would stroll over to the other side and see if there were any tasty morsels to be had, as she knew it was still two hours before lunchtime.

Fictionalised Biography:
To escape the crowd that had gathered outside the gates waiting for their first sight of Mandela for over twenty years.

Noël Knowall

Labels: fiction, literary, Noël Knowall

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