Relief of the siege of Britain
"The Commissioner added: 'Things such as pints and miles and feet and inches are what makes us love Britain. We don't want to get rid of them. The idea that you could not go for a pint in a pub in Britain is not acceptable.'"
I wish he'd tell that to the missus.
Red Woodward
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
DNA in the frame
Letters
Anybody can now be framed for a crime by placing material bearing their DNA where it will be found by police. Courts and public may be so bamboozled by the virtual uniqueness of DNA that they lose their senses upon its adduction. No matter how preposterous any allegation, all is answered by the mighty DNA finding. One can commit "the perfect crime" by taking a hair from somebody's head or a drop of their blood and leaving it somewhere to be found.
M. A. Gray, Kensal Rise
Anybody can now be framed for a crime by placing material bearing their DNA where it will be found by police. Courts and public may be so bamboozled by the virtual uniqueness of DNA that they lose their senses upon its adduction. No matter how preposterous any allegation, all is answered by the mighty DNA finding. One can commit "the perfect crime" by taking a hair from somebody's head or a drop of their blood and leaving it somewhere to be found.
M. A. Gray, Kensal Rise
Monday, September 10, 2007
Install the Big Wall application
Facesavebook
Announcing the Big Wall application. Build a Big Wall around yourself today. Nobody will be able to comment on your MySpace or Facebook profiles, email you, phone you, hail you in the street, send you Hallmark greetings cards on made-up days, talk about you behind your back, repeat your excellent jokes without attribution, question your parentage, park in front of your driveway, bid against you on eBay, quote you, think about you, order the same thing as you in restaurants, have the same favourites generally, still have any sweets left when yours are all gone, say anything whatsoever without your prior approval, think about random things reckless of your viewpoint, cut their grass when you are reading your book on the patio, go on holidays in loud airplanes over your city, phone when you're in the bathroom (or any time generally except by prior request), write things that are borderline better than your own, reject your suggestions in an offhand or any other manner, read over your shoulder, take your breath like cats, perversely decide to have insomnia at the same time as you, turn off the light when they leave the room you're in, close the door behind them when you're following them through, tap cutlery against their teeth, eat the last jaffa cake and leave the empty packet on the shelf, etc. Install the Big Wall application—problems over. Sign up now.
Simon Moribund Systems
Announcing the Big Wall application. Build a Big Wall around yourself today. Nobody will be able to comment on your MySpace or Facebook profiles, email you, phone you, hail you in the street, send you Hallmark greetings cards on made-up days, talk about you behind your back, repeat your excellent jokes without attribution, question your parentage, park in front of your driveway, bid against you on eBay, quote you, think about you, order the same thing as you in restaurants, have the same favourites generally, still have any sweets left when yours are all gone, say anything whatsoever without your prior approval, think about random things reckless of your viewpoint, cut their grass when you are reading your book on the patio, go on holidays in loud airplanes over your city, phone when you're in the bathroom (or any time generally except by prior request), write things that are borderline better than your own, reject your suggestions in an offhand or any other manner, read over your shoulder, take your breath like cats, perversely decide to have insomnia at the same time as you, turn off the light when they leave the room you're in, close the door behind them when you're following them through, tap cutlery against their teeth, eat the last jaffa cake and leave the empty packet on the shelf, etc. Install the Big Wall application—problems over. Sign up now.
Simon Moribund Systems
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Gordon Brown: masterpiece of puppetry
Letters
Look closely when Gordon Brown shuffles pages: it's not him! He's only a huge-headed papier-mâché carnival figure with another smaller person behind operating him - that's whose hands you see. You never see Blair anymore, do you, by the way?
V. G. Bong, Neasden
Look closely when Gordon Brown shuffles pages: it's not him! He's only a huge-headed papier-mâché carnival figure with another smaller person behind operating him - that's whose hands you see. You never see Blair anymore, do you, by the way?
V. G. Bong, Neasden
Saturday, September 01, 2007
On Zora Neale Hurston
What does soulful mean?
"I had my own ideas of 'good writing'. It was a category that did not include aphoristic or overtly 'lyrical' language, mythic imagery, accurately rendered 'folk speech' or the love tribulations of women. My literary defences were up in preparation for Their Eyes Were Watching God. Then I read the first page..." (Zadie Smith)
Ossian
"I had my own ideas of 'good writing'. It was a category that did not include aphoristic or overtly 'lyrical' language, mythic imagery, accurately rendered 'folk speech' or the love tribulations of women. My literary defences were up in preparation for Their Eyes Were Watching God. Then I read the first page..." (Zadie Smith)
Ossian
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Statue of Nelson Mandela unveiled in Parliament Square
Video (Sky News)
"Though this statue is of one man, it should in actual fact symbolise all those who have resisted oppression, especially in my country." (Nelson Mandela)
"Though this statue is of one man, it should in actual fact symbolise all those who have resisted oppression, especially in my country." (Nelson Mandela)
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Notting Hill Carnival 2008
Pictures
"Sunny weather drew around 600,000 people to the Notting Hill Carnival this bank holiday weekend to enjoy the parades, dancers, costumes, sound systems and street performances. The theme of this year's event was Set All Free, commemorating the bicentenary of the abolition of the slave trade" (Guardian Online)
"Sunny weather drew around 600,000 people to the Notting Hill Carnival this bank holiday weekend to enjoy the parades, dancers, costumes, sound systems and street performances. The theme of this year's event was Set All Free, commemorating the bicentenary of the abolition of the slave trade" (Guardian Online)
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Boxed in a corner at the foot of the second last page
The names of people who are dead
are like expired tokens, special offers
for something years ago,
used tickets from plays you saw,
went to see in theatres
that maybe now are bingo halls
or shopping malls,
the names of casts
in order of disappearance
and technicians too,
who privately could be impressed
to some extent, concerning the names
of people who are dead, or resting,
no longer players.
--
Stephen Moran
<< Previous | Next >>
are like expired tokens, special offers
for something years ago,
used tickets from plays you saw,
went to see in theatres
that maybe now are bingo halls
or shopping malls,
the names of casts
in order of disappearance
and technicians too,
who privately could be impressed
to some extent, concerning the names
of people who are dead, or resting,
no longer players.
--
Stephen Moran
<< Previous | Next >>
Monday, August 20, 2007
Walking south, then round the block*
The vast stainless steel plant
of the Capital City Academy
lies under mostly grey at first,
till turning east onto Donnington Road,
all of the sky, over half the world,
appears electric-lit or petrol blue.
North-northeast later,
under ice blue floes,
down to the cold of whitened ash.
And where would I be without
the ivory lightbox of an upstairs bay,
harmonising with a white
street light outside?
A war party of black cloud has halted
on the ridge of Dollis Hill.
At the corner back, a sort of prayer:
Vouchsafe me a view
of the sanguine amber, oh yes,
the peach red line, yes,
scrabbed in the west...
--
Stephen Moran
<< Previous | Next >>
* A week ago
of the Capital City Academy
lies under mostly grey at first,
till turning east onto Donnington Road,
all of the sky, over half the world,
appears electric-lit or petrol blue.
North-northeast later,
under ice blue floes,
down to the cold of whitened ash.
And where would I be without
the ivory lightbox of an upstairs bay,
harmonising with a white
street light outside?
A war party of black cloud has halted
on the ridge of Dollis Hill.
At the corner back, a sort of prayer:
Vouchsafe me a view
of the sanguine amber, oh yes,
the peach red line, yes,
scrabbed in the west...
--
Stephen Moran
<< Previous | Next >>
* A week ago
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Moronic jobsworths strike again
'Paedophile Given Viagra In Jail Rapes Boy' Sky NewsWorld News
"A paedophile accused of raping a five-year-old boy just weeks after leaving jail had been prescribed Viagra while inside, his lawyer claimed."
He had a packet of Viagra in his pocket, allegedly prescribed before he left prison, when he was caught with the child.
Zoz
"A paedophile accused of raping a five-year-old boy just weeks after leaving jail had been prescribed Viagra while inside, his lawyer claimed."
He had a packet of Viagra in his pocket, allegedly prescribed before he left prison, when he was caught with the child.
Zoz
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Edited out
Vanity Fair
"How could a man who, in the words of one close friend of Miller's, 'had such a great world reputation for morality and pursuing justice do something like this'?"
More complex than it appears at first glance, a detailed report about how and why Arthur Miller disowned but eventually left a bequest to, his Downs Syndrome child.
Ossian
"How could a man who, in the words of one close friend of Miller's, 'had such a great world reputation for morality and pursuing justice do something like this'?"
More complex than it appears at first glance, a detailed report about how and why Arthur Miller disowned but eventually left a bequest to, his Downs Syndrome child.
Ossian
Monday, August 13, 2007
Links 'r us
Memoirs of a Madwoman
"From turning a door on four roller skates into a Heelykididdlywatt and fending off sleazy guys in an all-night coffee shop, through first love, the scars left on a generation by the Vietnam war, and an eye-witness view of Belfast at the peak of The Troubles, these memoirs chart the triumphs and tragedies of an ordinary life full of extraordinary people."
"From turning a door on four roller skates into a Heelykididdlywatt and fending off sleazy guys in an all-night coffee shop, through first love, the scars left on a generation by the Vietnam war, and an eye-witness view of Belfast at the peak of The Troubles, these memoirs chart the triumphs and tragedies of an ordinary life full of extraordinary people."
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Summer short story special
Guardian Unlimited
"...seven exclusive and previously unpublished short stories by some of today's finest writers."
'Putting Daisy Down' by Jay McInerney.
'J Johnson: A Writing Life' by Nick Hornby
'Sweeping Past' by Yiyun Li
'Smithy' By Rose Tremain
'Message In A Bottle' by Jeanette Winterson
'Peach Melba' by John Burnside
'The Neddy Silver Story' by AM Homes.
Ossian
"...seven exclusive and previously unpublished short stories by some of today's finest writers."
'Putting Daisy Down' by Jay McInerney.
'J Johnson: A Writing Life' by Nick Hornby
'Sweeping Past' by Yiyun Li
'Smithy' By Rose Tremain
'Message In A Bottle' by Jeanette Winterson
'Peach Melba' by John Burnside
'The Neddy Silver Story' by AM Homes.
Ossian
Friday, August 10, 2007
Science for the Confused - an occasional series
No. 6: Cracked record (reprise of no. 5)
I think I've said this before, but it's been on my mind again. The complexity of DNA is enough to account for the variations between individuals, but not enough to specify the pattern for the organism. Therefore DNA is probably only a series of variations to apply, but to what, we don't know. I have said it before, I remember now. It's like the instructions to a tailor: I want a blue suit, with a velvet collar and this and that measurement. It does not tell the tailor how to make a suit. And who is the tailor? What causes a plate of chemicals to turn into a human being? Or a banana? All these things with DNA, doesn't it mean that DNA is really synonymous with life? But there are more lines in a not-particularly-complicated computer program than there are in the human genome. So where is the real pattern for life? We can put a pile of amino acids in a saucer but they won't get up and write À la recherche du temps perdu.
Estimates vary from 25,000 to 80,000 effective genes in the human genome, and currently thought to be at the lower end of that range (ref: here). There are more parts in the body than there are elements in the genome! Imagine what it would need to program any one part of the body, never mind the brain, for example. You couldn't program even a wonky robot with that number of instructions, let alone a system to build a wonky robot (which, some might jokingly argue, is what we have).
<< Previous | Next >>
Prof. Kronk
Confused yet? You will be, here.
I think I've said this before, but it's been on my mind again. The complexity of DNA is enough to account for the variations between individuals, but not enough to specify the pattern for the organism. Therefore DNA is probably only a series of variations to apply, but to what, we don't know. I have said it before, I remember now. It's like the instructions to a tailor: I want a blue suit, with a velvet collar and this and that measurement. It does not tell the tailor how to make a suit. And who is the tailor? What causes a plate of chemicals to turn into a human being? Or a banana? All these things with DNA, doesn't it mean that DNA is really synonymous with life? But there are more lines in a not-particularly-complicated computer program than there are in the human genome. So where is the real pattern for life? We can put a pile of amino acids in a saucer but they won't get up and write À la recherche du temps perdu.
Estimates vary from 25,000 to 80,000 effective genes in the human genome, and currently thought to be at the lower end of that range (ref: here). There are more parts in the body than there are elements in the genome! Imagine what it would need to program any one part of the body, never mind the brain, for example. You couldn't program even a wonky robot with that number of instructions, let alone a system to build a wonky robot (which, some might jokingly argue, is what we have).
<< Previous | Next >>
Prof. Kronk
Confused yet? You will be, here.
Iron man Boris
Letters
Thank you for your email and link to the blog that you sent. We have been inundated with letters of support and advice and the campaign team are reading each one. Your comments on restoring the ironwork removed during the war (and working with the Heritage Fund) have been noted and I will pass this on to the policy team.
Rebecca Mellotte
Thank you for your email and link to the blog that you sent. We have been inundated with letters of support and advice and the campaign team are reading each one. Your comments on restoring the ironwork removed during the war (and working with the Heritage Fund) have been noted and I will pass this on to the policy team.
Rebecca Mellotte
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Breaking good news
The Willesden Herald has secured official backing for the next Willesden short story competition. This will mean publicity in the autumn, an address for printed entries, and an awards event in the new year. Watch this space for updates. Everybody here in the WH newsroom is jumping up and down. Du jamais vu.
Noël Knowall
Noël Knowall
Monday, August 06, 2007
Heads you lose, tails you don't win
Walking to the shops ‘damages planet more than going by car’
"Mr Goodall, Green Party parliamentary candidate for Oxford West & Abingdon, is the latest serious thinker to turn popular myths about the environment on their head." (Times Online)
There's a whole list of fascinatingly counter-intuitive facts in this article. I've always suspected that most recycling is more wasteful than reclaiming land with landfill. Surely when sea levels are rising, rubbish could be used to build up the coastline? Sounds naive, but I have seen land reclaimed from the sea around Dublin, and certainly it's done in the Netherlands, is it not?
Zoz
"Mr Goodall, Green Party parliamentary candidate for Oxford West & Abingdon, is the latest serious thinker to turn popular myths about the environment on their head." (Times Online)
There's a whole list of fascinatingly counter-intuitive facts in this article. I've always suspected that most recycling is more wasteful than reclaiming land with landfill. Surely when sea levels are rising, rubbish could be used to build up the coastline? Sounds naive, but I have seen land reclaimed from the sea around Dublin, and certainly it's done in the Netherlands, is it not?
Zoz
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Young pigeon
When I saw a bird like this in the grass at my primary school, I wondered if I'd discovered a new species. That was easily possible, then. In my mind I was always attributing marvellous discoveries to myself. I think I was really insane, if a child can be insane. A friend's kid, not so long ago, told me his teacher was an alien. Maybe insanity is the normal condition of childhood.
Ossian
Some justice
US Soldier Jailed For Iraq Attack
"A US soldier has been sentenced to 110 years in prison for his role in the rape and murder of a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and the killing of her family."
There is a difference between the abuse under Saddam and under the US occupation. There is a vestige of justice here. It's little or no consolation to the victims, but at least we know there is a system of justice that is trying to eat the elephant of abuse one bite at a time.
Zoz
"A US soldier has been sentenced to 110 years in prison for his role in the rape and murder of a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and the killing of her family."
There is a difference between the abuse under Saddam and under the US occupation. There is a vestige of justice here. It's little or no consolation to the victims, but at least we know there is a system of justice that is trying to eat the elephant of abuse one bite at a time.
Zoz
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