Facesavebook
Announcing the Big Wall application. Build a Big Wall around yourself today. Nobody will be able to comment on your MySpace or Facebook profiles, email you, phone you, hail you in the street, send you Hallmark greetings cards on made-up days, talk about you behind your back, repeat your excellent jokes without attribution, question your parentage, park in front of your driveway, bid against you on eBay, quote you, think about you, order the same thing as you in restaurants, have the same favourites generally, still have any sweets left when yours are all gone, say anything whatsoever without your prior approval, think about random things reckless of your viewpoint, cut their grass when you are reading your book on the patio, go on holidays in loud airplanes over your city, phone when you're in the bathroom (or any time generally except by prior request), write things that are borderline better than your own, reject your suggestions in an offhand or any other manner, read over your shoulder, take your breath like cats, perversely decide to have insomnia at the same time as you, turn off the light when they leave the room you're in, close the door behind them when you're following them through, tap cutlery against their teeth, eat the last jaffa cake and leave the empty packet on the shelf, etc. Install the Big Wall application—problems over. Sign up now.
Simon Moribund Systems
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