Quizville U.S.A.

1. What was the last kind of cookie you ate?
- A biscuit

2. Which character do you identify with in Friends?
- Seinfeld

3. Did you secretly hate your prom king and queen?
- Do you mean porn king and queen?

4. Which member of the Monkees did you have a crush on?
- Cheetah

5. Which would you say invented punk: The Ramones or Billy Idol?
- Never mind the bollocks

6. Would you be embarrassed to catch your Mom kissing your Pop on Thanksgiving Day after some eggnog and a few turkeys?
- It would worse the other way around

7. Oldsmobile or Corvette?
- I don't follow baseball

8. Cheerios, Grape Nuts or Doughysoggers?
- Fleetwood Mac

9. Do you like to dip biscuits in gravy or do you consider it unladylike?
- I like to dip ladies in gravy

10. If a British person asked you if you wanted to smoke a fag, would you (a) say "Yes, welcome to the NRA", (b) "Not really, but I wouldn't mind tying one to a rail for a while and whipping them lightly", or (c) I'm sorry I can't understand you, get your teeth fixed.
- Duelling banjoes

11. Is it essential to present a corsage on that important first date?
- Not till the last date

12. How many dates before you let him or her know your first name?
- Never let them know, and spray them with mace if they ask

13. Do you think we should change our national anthem to America the Beautiful?
- Ask an anarchist a stupid question

14. Should the soccer's Premier League be moved to Florida, now that we own it?
- Yes

15. Daisy Duke or I Dream of Jeannie?
- On different nights

16. When was the last time your Mom and Pop held a cocktail party for the boss?
- We had chippolatas once

18. What is the best foreign movie you have ever seen?
- The Graduate

19. Did you ever wear somebody's pin when they went road racing?
- Do you mean pinny?

20. Gun control: ban automatics, no or maybe?
- Yes

21. Chitlins or Grits?
- Roman Catholic

22. How about your first hickey, and where was it: his car, your car, your mother's car, your father's car, your town car, your beach car, your SUV or your drag racer?
- My first Hickey, was Mrs Hickey in number 39.

23. Is the death penalty applied too leniently, should it be more painful: yes, maybe?
- Save the human

24. Chain gangs: should they be saved from floods or serve them right, leave them?
- Make one out of Bush, Blair, Cheney and Rumsfeld and throw them overboard

25. Why do foreigners hate us?
- Because we conquered them and then tossed them aside

Zoz