Next General Election is the Court of Appeal

The British government had decided in advance to join the U.S. invasion of Iraq, regardless of any evidence. The present White House tenants were cunning enough to say they didn't believe in presenting dossiers to support their case, but the tenants of 10 Downing Street thought they could brew up enough plausible-looking hogwash to gull the average Briton.

So be it. We don't need any further investigations - we can deliver our verdict, as jury, at the next General Election. Not-so-New soap powder Labour will face the following difficulties when they appear before the court of the people:

1. Their manifesto pledges are written in erasable ink.
2. The BBC hates them.
3. Council Tax payers hate them.
4. Car drivers hate them.
5. Pensioners hate them.
6. Farmers hate them.
7. People in the public services hate them.
8. Eurosceptics hate them.
9. Michael Howard is the most effective leader of the Conservative Party since Thatcher.
10. The Liberals are a laughing stock.

I could go on, but I don't want to spoil the suspense of election night. Will we have a Harriet Harman moment to match the Portillo moment? Will Brown's career be scuppered along with Blair's when they crash, or if not will he lead Labour into repeated failure? He's not so great. Let's be honest, Gordon Brown is a bit of a smug, smarmy, pretentious, "You'll have had your tea already" kind of Scot, isn't he? Will the Son-of-Thatcher look back with a teary eye as he gets into his limo for the last time outside number 10, just like The Mummy?

Things can only get better.

Feargal Mooney