Raft of the Twats pic.twitter.com/Opws4hnUPP— Cold War Steve (@Coldwar_Steve) May 13, 2019
A parody of Théodore Géricault's painting "The Raft of the Medusa" is one of Cold War Steve's masterpieces.
Saturday, July 06, 2019
"Raft of the Twats" masterpiece by Cold War Steve
A parody of Théodore Géricault's painting "The Raft of the Medusa" is one of Cold War Steve's masterpieces.
Thursday, July 04, 2019
Now reading for New Short Stories 11
We are open till September 30 for submissions to the latest in our series of short story anthologies, featuring the best new writing from around the world.
You can find plentiful examples of what we like in our back issues and also in our Story of the Month features, as well as in the periodicals listed under Links. We’re generally looking for literary fiction not genre stories.
The only payment we can offer at this time is two copies of the book when it is published. Full details are set out in the submission form area.
“Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 11” will be published simultaneously in the US and UK in early 2020 and will be available from the main online booksellers by print on demand. We can also do print runs on favourable terms when bulk orders are requested.
See our New Short Stories blog and The Willesden Herald for updates and features that may be of interest. (Link: Submit)
Tuesday, July 02, 2019
New Short Stories 11 on the horizon
London, July 2: In that too rare spirit of international cooperation, the team behind the New Short Stories book series is getting together again to create another issue with the best short stories we can find. There won't be a competition this time, it will be a good old submit/accept/reject process with arbitrary editorial decisions completely unaccountable to the world. Yes, traditional, if you like. Details to follow. (Ed.)
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Short Story of the Month, July 2019
The Willesden Herald New Short Stories Story of the Month
June 2019: "Curtains" by Charles Lambert
"When Helen gets back from the hospital the house is empty. She leaves her weekend bag by the door and wanders from room to room, the kitchen, the hall, the living room, and then upstairs, pausing for breath on the halfway landing, her hands folded over her stomach. She rests her hand on the door to David’s study..."
Charles Lambert was born in the United Kingdom but has lived in Italy for most of his adult life. His most recent novel is Prodigal, recently longlisted for the Polari Prize 2019. His previous novel, The Children's Home, was praised by Kirkus Reviews as ‘a one-of-a-kind literary horror story’, while Two Dark Tales, published in October 2017, was described by Owen King as the work of a ‘terrific devious story teller’. Earlier books include three novels, a collection of prize-winning short stories and a memoir, With a Zero at its Heart, selected by the Guardian as one of its top ten books from 2014.
Continuing our retrospective series, "Curtains" is included in Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 6 together with stories by Eliza Robertson, Virginia Gilbert, Nick Holdstock, Geraldine Mills and others.
Visit Charles Lambert's blog on WordPress.
June 2019: "Curtains" by Charles Lambert
"When Helen gets back from the hospital the house is empty. She leaves her weekend bag by the door and wanders from room to room, the kitchen, the hall, the living room, and then upstairs, pausing for breath on the halfway landing, her hands folded over her stomach. She rests her hand on the door to David’s study..."
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Continuing our retrospective series, "Curtains" is included in Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 6 together with stories by Eliza Robertson, Virginia Gilbert, Nick Holdstock, Geraldine Mills and others.
Visit Charles Lambert's blog on WordPress.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
On reading "The Empty Promise of Boris Johnson"
The Empty Promise of Boris Johnson (Sam Knight, The New Yorker)
This is a very interesting and educational article, containing a potted biography of Boris Johnson, charting and explaining his political aims, which can be summed up nicely in his own words as "I have nothing." In short, he has no fixed beliefs and doesn't believe in the perfectibility of people or systems and treats life, journalism and elections as a rambunctious game of King of the Castle, which he is determined to win.
His main virtue, if you can isolate any, is that he cheers people up. I think that is very fair, the life and soul of the party but in more ways than one, "not the man you want driving you home afterwards," as Amber Rudd famously quipped. It is hard to be cheered up in the face of an oncoming juggernaut or cliff edge and a driver full of Pimms.
Johnson is portrayed as a real-life version of PG Wodehouse's Bertie Wooster. If the final two in the Tory leadership ballot turn out to be Gove v Johnson, it will be like a contest between Jeeves and Wooster, which does indeed happen from time to time in the books. Hunt, Javid or Stewart as the opponent would merely be one of Wodehouse's frequent unsatisfactory stand-in butlers. When it comes to Wooster v Jeeves, it's always Jeeves who wins but he lets Wooster think he's won. Johnson would be a figurehead and Gove the man with the plan:- and that's where the analogy breaks down.
This is a very interesting and educational article, containing a potted biography of Boris Johnson, charting and explaining his political aims, which can be summed up nicely in his own words as "I have nothing." In short, he has no fixed beliefs and doesn't believe in the perfectibility of people or systems and treats life, journalism and elections as a rambunctious game of King of the Castle, which he is determined to win.
His main virtue, if you can isolate any, is that he cheers people up. I think that is very fair, the life and soul of the party but in more ways than one, "not the man you want driving you home afterwards," as Amber Rudd famously quipped. It is hard to be cheered up in the face of an oncoming juggernaut or cliff edge and a driver full of Pimms.
Johnson is portrayed as a real-life version of PG Wodehouse's Bertie Wooster. If the final two in the Tory leadership ballot turn out to be Gove v Johnson, it will be like a contest between Jeeves and Wooster, which does indeed happen from time to time in the books. Hunt, Javid or Stewart as the opponent would merely be one of Wodehouse's frequent unsatisfactory stand-in butlers. When it comes to Wooster v Jeeves, it's always Jeeves who wins but he lets Wooster think he's won. Johnson would be a figurehead and Gove the man with the plan:- and that's where the analogy breaks down.
Wednesday, June 12, 2019
Pressure-washing the pavements
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| Greenford Road |
Wednesday, June 05, 2019
Impressive happy birthday sign
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| Spotted on the corner of Greenford Road and South Vale, Harrow |
Friday, May 31, 2019
Short Story of the Month, June 2019
The Willesden Herald New Short Stories Story of the Month
June 2019: Set Dance by Angela Sherlock
“Suddenly, very precisely placing the oddity of individual lives in the perspective of a bigger, slower rural pattern where everything can be accepted…Angela Sherlock’s Set Dance, a very unusual story, a very interesting story.” (Maggie Gee)
“Set Dance” is also available in Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 5 together with stories by eleven other outstanding writers.
Visit AngelaSherlock.com
June 2019: Set Dance by Angela Sherlock
“Suddenly, very precisely placing the oddity of individual lives in the perspective of a bigger, slower rural pattern where everything can be accepted…Angela Sherlock’s Set Dance, a very unusual story, a very interesting story.” (Maggie Gee)
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Angela Sherlock has worked in engineering and in education, but now lives in Devon where she writes full time. She has published reviews and articles but now concentrates on fiction. ‘Set Dance’ comes from her collection, To know they dreamed, which explores the Irish diaspora. She is currently working on a collection that takes its themes from elements of the periodic table. Her stories have appeared in literary journals and anthologies, the most recent online in Virtual Zine.
Visit AngelaSherlock.com
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Advice for Rylan!
It's feels like a long time since we had a music video.
"Rylan you should try to get some sun" (The National)
Must be a different Rylan.
"Rylan you should try to get some sun" (The National)
Must be a different Rylan.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Short Story of the Month, May 2019
The Willesden Herald New Short Stories Story of the Month
May 2019: Rash by Megan Taylor
“The ancient hinged mirror reflected back three Frans, each one streaked. Beyond her, the walls of her bedroom were a faded peach, her teenage posters removed long ago, but in the lamp’s glow, the walls appeared duskier than usual and Fran also looked muted, almost satiny, despite the rash.”
May 2019: Rash by Megan Taylor
“The ancient hinged mirror reflected back three Frans, each one streaked. Beyond her, the walls of her bedroom were a faded peach, her teenage posters removed long ago, but in the lamp’s glow, the walls appeared duskier than usual and Fran also looked muted, almost satiny, despite the rash.”
Recent short stories have been placed in several competitions, and appeared in a variety of publications, including Dark Lane’s 6th and 7th anthologies and Neon. A fourth novel, ‘We Wait’, is due out from Eyrie Press in 2019. (www.megantaylor.info)
"Rash" is also available in Willesden Herald: New Short Stories 8 together with stories by nine other outstanding writers.
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Be clear. Vote LibDem to say "Remain!" on May 23rd 2019
Theresa, Boris, Trump, Farage, Corbyn.... they want Brexit.
— Liberal Democrats (@LibDems) May 12, 2019
Liberal Democrats are fighting for Remainers across Britain who want to #StopBrexit.
Vote Liberal Democrat on 23 May > https://t.co/IppSIisDi9 pic.twitter.com/0NizfOYs3m
Saturday, May 04, 2019
Register to vote by post by Tuesday 7th, impossible?
The registration service offered by RegisterToVote.eu, as reported earlier this week, which offered to submit details for people who filled in a form online, has been closed down by the Electoral Commission.
The Electoral Commission said: “We urge EU citizens that [sic] want to vote in the European parliamentary elections in the UK to only apply to register to vote through their local council or official websites. We welcome efforts by campaigners to encourage eligible electors to register to vote. However, our advice to anyone not yet registered is to only apply directly at www.gov.uk/registertovote.” (From: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/may/04/site-claiming-to-help-eu-citizens-register-to-vote-is-shut-down)
Postal applications must be received by Tuesday 7th, which is difficult at the time of writing, as it's now Saturday May 4th, and Monday is a bank holiday. It is believed that very few of the over 3 million EU citizens in the UK who need to register to vote in the European Parliament elections have done so.
There is still a possibility that the elections scheduled for May 23rd might be cancelled but that becomes ever more unlikely as days go by.
The Electoral Commission said: “We urge EU citizens that [sic] want to vote in the European parliamentary elections in the UK to only apply to register to vote through their local council or official websites. We welcome efforts by campaigners to encourage eligible electors to register to vote. However, our advice to anyone not yet registered is to only apply directly at www.gov.uk/registertovote.” (From: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/may/04/site-claiming-to-help-eu-citizens-register-to-vote-is-shut-down)
Postal applications must be received by Tuesday 7th, which is difficult at the time of writing, as it's now Saturday May 4th, and Monday is a bank holiday. It is believed that very few of the over 3 million EU citizens in the UK who need to register to vote in the European Parliament elections have done so.
There is still a possibility that the elections scheduled for May 23rd might be cancelled but that becomes ever more unlikely as days go by.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
The thoughts of Red Woodward
1. Never trust anybody honest.
2. This everybody dying malarkey has got beyond a joke.
3. What a person says a lot about says a lot about a person.
4. Minimalism is the biggest load of crap ever.
5. There's no such thing as waiting. You are either doing something useful or you are doing something useless.
6. Meditation? It's a racket.
7. You can put me in a box when I pop my clogs but not before.
8. Evidently I'm past my sell by-date but not my use-by date.
9. In life, you either do something and feel guilty about it, or do nothing and feel guilty about it. There is no in-between.
10. You can't put everything right in the fourth act of a three-act play.
11. The only review worth a damn is written on a cheque.
2. This everybody dying malarkey has got beyond a joke.
3. What a person says a lot about says a lot about a person.
4. Minimalism is the biggest load of crap ever.
5. There's no such thing as waiting. You are either doing something useful or you are doing something useless.
6. Meditation? It's a racket.
7. You can put me in a box when I pop my clogs but not before.
8. Evidently I'm past my sell by-date but not my use-by date.
9. In life, you either do something and feel guilty about it, or do nothing and feel guilty about it. There is no in-between.
10. You can't put everything right in the fourth act of a three-act play.
11. The only review worth a damn is written on a cheque.
12. In the end we all move to an address with no letterbox.
13. We're not about to go bang.
--
Feargal Mooney
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
South Vale, Harrow this morning
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| Chestnut tree in bloom at the corner of South Vale and Wood End Road |
Sunday, April 21, 2019
EU elections: 96% of over 65s can vote, only 60% young
Register to vote: https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote. Deadline 7 May 2019.
If the elections to the European Parliament go ahead next month, it will very likely be the last chance to vote to say "Stop Brexit."
The neo-fascist sympathiser Farage and his fellow-travellers in parliament are out to seal Britain's fate of isolation from our European hinterland, at the mercy of ruthless grabbers in the Kremlin and the White House and at the cost of disruption and misery in Ireland.
Friday, April 19, 2019
Grove Farm, Local Nature Reserve, Ealing today
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| First view of Grove Farm beside David Lloyd sports centre |
Thursday, April 18, 2019
What has the ECHR ever done for us?
Re-publishing this as a little reminder about the craziness the UK is subject to under the government of Theresa May. It owes something to Monty Python's "What have the Romans ever done for us?" sketch in The Life of Brian.
* ECHR = European Convention on Human Rights
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Need a laugh these days, by any chance?
The best bit about this is the last cat who does the Scooby Doo 'run on the spot for a split second before actually moving' pic.twitter.com/ltQhF2HDCl— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 11, 2019
Saturday, March 30, 2019
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Indicative votes: Results in sequence and plan for Monday
Analysis of Wednesday's "indicative votes" on the way forward for Brexit.
Results in the order voted on and announced, For-Against:
160-400 No Deal
188-283 Common Market 2.0 (aka Norway+)
65-377 EFTA & EEA (single market without customs union)
264-272 Customs Union (basic permanent customs union for starters)
237-307 Labour's Plan ("a" customs union and strong single market links, rights etc.)
184-293 Revoke Article 50 (if necessary to avoid No Deal)
268-295 Public Vote
139-422 WTO Terms
Arguably, Speaker Bercow made a mistake in declaring after each verdict "The Noes have it" because no one option "has it" yet. Instead, if you take account of the difference between Yes and No, you get this sequence:
Results in order by "goal difference" (all negative):
1. Customs Union: -8
2. Public Vote: -27
3. Labour's Plan: -70
4. Common Market 2.0: -95
5. Revoke to avoid No Deal: -109
6. No Deal: -240
7. WTO Terms: -283
8. EFTA & EEA: -312
However, it's simpler to forego "goal difference", and you get almost the same sequence by taking number of Yeses for each option, though the top two options swap places, which clearly could be significant*.
By focussing on the number of Yeses, it's easy to see how many votes are to be redistributed, each time the option with the least votes is eliminated. More importantly, the Noes are irrelevant for these purposes, since what we want to discover is the option of which most MPs are in favour. If someone doesn't put a Yes beside an option, that's effectively a No anyway. Therefore let's just count the Yeses from now on.
Results in order by number of Yeses:
1. Public Vote: 268
2. Customs Union: 264
3. Labour's Plan: 237
4. Common Market 2.0: 188
5. Revoke to avoid No Deal: 184
6. No Deal: 160
7. WTO Terms: 139
8. EFTA & EEA: 65
So on Monday, eliminate number 8 (EFTA &EEA) and ask its 65 supporters to vote again for one of the remaining seven options (eight if Mrs May's Deal is added). The next option to be eliminated would be whichever one ended up last out of the remaining options, probably either WTO Terms or No Deal - but we will only know when the votes are recast.
The process of elimination should be repeated, preferably discounting the Noes as irrelevant, till only two options remain. At that point the top one is the most favoured compromise option and should be adopted by the government.
Rearrangement of the ballot paper to separate two procedural options
1. In Wednesday's selected options, the Public Vote option was an anomaly, as it doesn't describe a future relationship. This can be resolved by moving it to a separate section of the ballot paper, to apply irrespective of which option is selected.
2. The same can be said for the Revoke to Avoid No Deal option, as that is not a way forward, simply an emergency brake in the event of no other plan being agreed. That too could have its own separate section on the ballot.
Suggested ballot paper layout & possible wording for Monday's vote
The option "EFTA and EEA" has been eliminated, having received the fewest votes. Additionally, the options "Public Vote" and "Revoke to Avoid No Deal" have been separated from the rest as they are procedural matters, which apply regardless of the other results."
Vote for one only of the following options. The option with the fewest votes will be eliminated and the voting procedure repeated with the remaining options:
1. The government's recommended withdrawal agreement and future arrangement
2. Customs Union basic foundation for a new deal as proposed by Kenneth Clarke
3. Labour's Plan for a form of Customs Union, close single market arrangement, rights etc.
4. Common Market 2.0 aka Norway+ which joins EFTA but not necessarily indefinitely
5. Leave with No Deal
6. Leave on WTO Terms
Answer Yes or No to the following questions:
a) In the event of no deal agreed with two days to go, revoke Article 50?: Yes or No
b) Should the eventual deal agreed be put back to the people with an option to Remain?: Yes or No
* 29/3/2019: Correction: Changed text to show that you don't get the same sequence by taking only the Yeses, rather the top two options swap places. Also added a mock-up of the possible ballot paper as a basis for Monday's votes.
Results in the order voted on and announced, For-Against:
160-400 No Deal
188-283 Common Market 2.0 (aka Norway+)
65-377 EFTA & EEA (single market without customs union)
264-272 Customs Union (basic permanent customs union for starters)
237-307 Labour's Plan ("a" customs union and strong single market links, rights etc.)
184-293 Revoke Article 50 (if necessary to avoid No Deal)
268-295 Public Vote
139-422 WTO Terms
Arguably, Speaker Bercow made a mistake in declaring after each verdict "The Noes have it" because no one option "has it" yet. Instead, if you take account of the difference between Yes and No, you get this sequence:
Results in order by "goal difference" (all negative):
1. Customs Union: -8
2. Public Vote: -27
3. Labour's Plan: -70
4. Common Market 2.0: -95
5. Revoke to avoid No Deal: -109
6. No Deal: -240
7. WTO Terms: -283
8. EFTA & EEA: -312
However, it's simpler to forego "goal difference", and you get almost the same sequence by taking number of Yeses for each option, though the top two options swap places, which clearly could be significant*.
By focussing on the number of Yeses, it's easy to see how many votes are to be redistributed, each time the option with the least votes is eliminated. More importantly, the Noes are irrelevant for these purposes, since what we want to discover is the option of which most MPs are in favour. If someone doesn't put a Yes beside an option, that's effectively a No anyway. Therefore let's just count the Yeses from now on.
Results in order by number of Yeses:
1. Public Vote: 268
2. Customs Union: 264
3. Labour's Plan: 237
4. Common Market 2.0: 188
5. Revoke to avoid No Deal: 184
6. No Deal: 160
7. WTO Terms: 139
8. EFTA & EEA: 65
So on Monday, eliminate number 8 (EFTA &EEA) and ask its 65 supporters to vote again for one of the remaining seven options (eight if Mrs May's Deal is added). The next option to be eliminated would be whichever one ended up last out of the remaining options, probably either WTO Terms or No Deal - but we will only know when the votes are recast.
The process of elimination should be repeated, preferably discounting the Noes as irrelevant, till only two options remain. At that point the top one is the most favoured compromise option and should be adopted by the government.
Rearrangement of the ballot paper to separate two procedural options
1. In Wednesday's selected options, the Public Vote option was an anomaly, as it doesn't describe a future relationship. This can be resolved by moving it to a separate section of the ballot paper, to apply irrespective of which option is selected.
2. The same can be said for the Revoke to Avoid No Deal option, as that is not a way forward, simply an emergency brake in the event of no other plan being agreed. That too could have its own separate section on the ballot.
Suggested ballot paper layout & possible wording for Monday's vote
The option "EFTA and EEA" has been eliminated, having received the fewest votes. Additionally, the options "Public Vote" and "Revoke to Avoid No Deal" have been separated from the rest as they are procedural matters, which apply regardless of the other results."
Vote for one only of the following options. The option with the fewest votes will be eliminated and the voting procedure repeated with the remaining options:
1. The government's recommended withdrawal agreement and future arrangement
2. Customs Union basic foundation for a new deal as proposed by Kenneth Clarke
3. Labour's Plan for a form of Customs Union, close single market arrangement, rights etc.
4. Common Market 2.0 aka Norway+ which joins EFTA but not necessarily indefinitely
5. Leave with No Deal
6. Leave on WTO Terms
Answer Yes or No to the following questions:
a) In the event of no deal agreed with two days to go, revoke Article 50?: Yes or No
b) Should the eventual deal agreed be put back to the people with an option to Remain?: Yes or No
* 29/3/2019: Correction: Changed text to show that you don't get the same sequence by taking only the Yeses, rather the top two options swap places. Also added a mock-up of the possible ballot paper as a basis for Monday's votes.
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Short Story of the Month, April 2019
The Willesden Herald New Short Stories Story of the Month
April 2019: Name by Sergey Bolmat
He looks at Anne with marked indifference, as if expecting her to introduce herself and explain the purpose of her visit, and then, after a second, makes a little twitch with the left corner of his lips indicating a smile.
‘Well,’ he says, ‘look who’s here.’
April 2019: Name by Sergey Bolmat
He looks at Anne with marked indifference, as if expecting her to introduce herself and explain the purpose of her visit, and then, after a second, makes a little twitch with the left corner of his lips indicating a smile.
‘Well,’ he says, ‘look who’s here.’
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| Photo by Natalia Nikitin (detail) |
Sergey Bolmat published his first novel in Russia to great critical acclaim. To date, he has published three novels, two collections of short stories, many articles and essays in various periodicals, and a biography of Nikolay Chernyshevsky. Some of these books were shortlisted for literary awards, translated into many European languages, adapted for radio, and optioned and developed for film. His first short story written in English appeared in The Higgs Weldon.
Friday, March 15, 2019
The old dead tree has fallen
Willesden Herald Exclusive (tada!)
Fallen tree at the corner of South Vale and Wood End Road, Harrow
The old dead tree has fallen in the recent gales (Wednesday night, I think.) It's lying across the path that starts the walk along this small section of the Capital Ring.
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
End of the line for the Water Poet pub
According to this, the Water Poet corner pub in Folgate Street is closing to make way for "a corporate plaza." London is disappearing, welcome to nowhere.The Water Poet in Folgate Street closes thanks to British Land's redevelopment of Norton Folgate for a hideous corporate plaza! pic.twitter.com/ftCTwjfWU2— Spitalfields Life (@thegentleauthor) March 12, 2019
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