The thoughts of Red Woodward

A selection of "spokes", as he would probably call them, uttered by our legendary proprietor Eddie "Red" Woodward and shared among staff of the Willy in a long-running in-house email discussion.

1. Never trust anybody honest.

2. This everybody dying malarkey has got beyond a joke.

3. What a person says a lot about says a lot about a person.

4. Minimalism is the biggest load of crap ever.

5. There's no such thing as waiting. You are either doing something useful or you are doing something useless.

6. Meditation? It's a racket.

7. You can put me in a box when I pop my clogs but not before.

8. Evidently I'm past my sell by-date but not my use-by date.

9. In life, you either do something and feel guilty about it, or do nothing and feel guilty about it. There is no in-between.

10. You can't put everything right in the fourth act of a three-act play.

11. The only review worth a damn is written on a cheque.

12. We're not about to go bang.

Feargal Mooney

South Vale, Harrow this morning

Chestnut tree in bloom at the corner of South Vale and Wood End Road

EU elections: 96% of over 65s can vote, only 60% young

Register to vote: https://www.gov.uk/register-to-vote. Deadline 7 May 2019.

If the elections to the European Parliament go ahead next month, it will very likely be the last chance to vote to say "Stop Brexit."

The neo-fascist sympathiser Farage and his fellow-travellers in parliament are out to seal Britain's fate of isolation from our European hinterland, at the mercy of ruthless grabbers in the Kremlin and the White House and at the cost of disruption and misery in Ireland.

Grove Farm, Local Nature Reserve, Ealing today

First view of Grove Farm beside David Lloyd sports centre

What has the ECHR ever done for us?

Re-publishing this as a little reminder about the craziness the UK is subject to under the government of Theresa May. It owes something to Monty Python's "What have the Romans ever done for us?" sketch in The Life of Brian.

* ECHR = European Convention on Human Rights

Need a laugh these days, by any chance?

The best bit about this is the last cat who does the Scooby Doo 'run on the spot for a split second before actually moving' pic.twitter.com/ltQhF2HDCl

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 11, 2019