Thursday, March 30, 2006

Unrepeatable offer - for a limited time only

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Academies Among Worst Schools In UK

"Seven of the 13 privately-sponsored academies, which have been open long enough to provide results, appeared in the table of the worst 200 state schools in England." (Skynews)

In the light of reports such as the above, and others ("Creme de la Creme: rich and thick" etc.) we at New Improved Labour (Priorities: War, War & War Education, Education & Education) recognise that we need to step up our efforts in this area and that is why we are offering you the bargain of the century.

Special offer: buy one school, get one free! And now for a limited time only, with a free peerage thrown in. Suits you, Your Lordship! Sick of modern science, why not teach your own version?

Just cut out the coupon below, fill in your chosen peer title (subject to availability) sign and post together with your donation to, Schools and Peerages Offer, New Improved Labour, 16 Old Queen Steet, London SW1H 9HP.

Yes, I believe in the motto, Give me a child aged 7, and I'll give you the man: medicalised, addicted to sugar / caffeine / nicotine / other*. Please send me title to 2 schools, and a voucher for one peerage.

I wish to use the name: Lord _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Alternative title if first choice is not available: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
(Suggestions: The town, country or continent where you were born, your public school, your city finance house etc.)

I enclose a cheque for £1,000,000 made out to "Cash".

I do/do not* wish to receive news of other great offers and rulings from New Improved Labour.

I do/do not* wish my details to be shared with other selected organisations.

Most Recent Name:  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Address:  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Email Address:  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I hereby declare that the information I have provided is true and that I am a suitable school proprietor and member of the legislature.

Signed:  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _    Date:  _ _ _ _ _

*Delete as applicable

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