all the news that's unfit to print
Update: Lane Ashfeldt's take on judging this year's competition: The Willesden Prize, Stories and Tunnels _______ This is the...
___________________________From Mr Ferguson Obote AbanjoMy mother has been taken to hospital earlier this evening. She glimpsed the arch whilst riding after nightfall on a train between Colindale and Brent Cross. She was admitted to the Royal Free saying "the Rapture is upon us" over and over again. I feel your newspaper owes its readers a duty of care and should explain that the arch is an ornamental feature of a sports stadium and is in no way connected with the Bridge For The Ascent Of Earthly Angels as is mentioned in your weekly column The Sure Signs of the Approach of Rapture by the Reverend Peabody.Thank YouFerguson AbanjoPost by : Ferguson Abanjo (webcacheh04a.cache.pol.co.uk / )___________________________Dear Mr AbanjoI do hope your mother is OK. She shops regularly where I work. J-Cloth sales plummeted yesterday.Yours sincerelyAngharad Berries(Costcutters)Post by : Mrs Berries (webcacheh07a.cache.pol.co.uk / )___________________________Thank you. She is getting on OK. She was discharged after a few hours. The doctor said that if she starts mentioning the Rapture again to whip her back into the secure ward but I think secure wards are the last place fragile people should be. In the couple of hours that she was in hospital she was in the next bed to Simon of Cyrene and opposite Simon Stylites and it did none of them any good. The poor wretch who thought he was Simon Stylites was perched atop the ward television and Simon of Cyrene was dragging his bed around the ward on his shoulders.I have been contacted by the Willesden Herald's Media Editor, Ms Saxonheart, who says that the Rev Peabody's column has been suspended sine die. It seems my mother wasn't the only victim of his nonsense.Yours Ferguson Obote AbanjoPost by : Ferguson Abanjo (webcacheh07a.cache.pol.co.uk / )___________________________The wages of sine is diePost by : Alec Smart (host217-44-106-181.range217-44.btcentralplus.com / )___________________________
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