Saturday, June 05, 2004

Your newspaper is a fraud - it doesn't exist


Nothing at all exists, not even this newspaper. The past no longer exists, the future does not yet exist, and that which we call the present cannot be found because infinitesimal division of an instant must prove that everything is on either one side or the other. There is nowhere for anything to exist because there is no such thing as the present, the past is gone, and the future only a phantasm. This newspaper is therefore a fraud, and I have given up waiting for the cheque for my article.

Prof. Kronk
St Benedict's Basket Workshop

1 comment:

Comments 2003-2004 said...


I'm surprised at you Professor

You appear to have abandoned your theory that there is no movement, only growth in the spacetime continuum. I thought you said everything was forever present? But I see you are now saying that nothing ever exists at all. Which is it?

Post by : Simon Moribund ( / )


I cannot be answering these piffling quibbles

I have more important things to do than answer your non-existent questions, whoever you think you are.

Since neither of my theories actually exist, it doesn't matter which one is right. They are both right. There is no present. Everything is an action-replay of some sort of artistic multimedia show.

Post by : Kronk ( / )



Isn't it as plain as the no-nose on your non-face?

Post by : Kronk ( / )


Nighty night

The professor is tired now, naman. Thank you. Goodnight. I put him in his special room now.

Post by : Honorio Macapuno ( / )


Solid state time

Time is a solid, not fluid. It does not flow it grows. It is a crystalline marble growing up, in which our lives are the colours.

If anyone knows of a supplier of aluminium bowler hats, please contact me. I will keep a look out for smoke signals.

Post by : Kronk ( / )