Reprinted with permission from: Sloe Wine
On that day Hewhoami went into Jehoozah where a multitude grate him. Be still, he cried, for the verse is short but the message is long. Tell us, Master, why is it that one person is given short sightedness and a life of toil, while another, more unworthy, is given perfect eyesight and great riches.
The Master spake thus. "A daughter of Mishaguna was washing linen by the stream of Blurgulgrosh, in the kingdom of Nicknocknickynackynocky when Martin, son of Peter, son of John, son of Nicorette, son of Nagila, son of Edward, son of Lucian, son of Fritz, son of Gangooly, son of Agar, daughter of Michael - "
Lord, we hath lost track of what thou sayest, spake one of the Jehoozamites.
Verily, saith Hewhoami, thou art the truest of all the multitude gathered here. For I betteth many of thou, thousands of thou, didst think the very same thing as this one. To this one I give the name Pontilfactor, the True.
A great shout rose from the multitude. Pontilfactor! Pontilfactor! Many murmured that it were a bad name to choose. The Master, seeing they didst whisper against his choice of name, sayeth unto them. "Ye accursed! I have given ye a name most unusual in the nations, and ye have spat it from your mouths."
"For ye have answered your own question. Ye have been given short sightedness and penury in return for your wickedness. Unto the Egregemites will I give 20-20 vision and riches beyond the dreams of Creosote."
Thus is it said, never marry a daughter of Jehoozah, or a son thereof.