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All about the 2017 international short story competition

We’re delighted to announce that the judge for the International Willesden Herald 2017 New Short Stories competition will be none other than...

Friday, July 29, 2011

Willesden Herald citizenship test of Britishness

1. Is "indoor cricket" (a) a type of insect, (b) a traditional sport, (c) a euphemism for coitus

2. In Britain homosexuality is (a) illegal, (b) legal, (c) compulsory

3. Traditionally a British virgin carrying a bag of gold may walk unmolested (a) from Land's End to John O'Groats, (b) from the tube station to half way home, (c) into the river Ouse

4. A jam sandwich is (a) a staple comestible, (b) a police car, (c) a golf club

5. The correct response to "good morning" is (a) good evening, (b) no response is required, (c) ya woh

6. Which of the following would you find at a typical British garden party (a) a whole roast goat, (b) Morris dancers, (c) mortgage protection insurance advice


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