Sunday, July 03, 2011

Existential cocktails

Poetic Angst
Take 3 parts Wonder, 1 part Anger. Fill into a tumbler full of frozen words. Serve with cocktail stirrer and a revolver.

Hissy Fit
One part Remorse, two parts Cruelty, one part Love and the juice of a small dilemma. Shake vigorously. Swirl in a dash of Paradox. Serve over ice in lead crystal tumblers.

Drama Queen*
2 parts Pomposity, 1 part Alarm, 3 parts crushed Naivety. Stir. Serve with a slice of dragon fruit and a cocktail umbrella.

Dickie Ticker
Take 1 part Impatience, 1 part Inadequacy, 2 parts Frustration. Squeeze in the juice of a ripe debacle. (Save the zest for later.) Shake petulantly. Grate the zest of the debacle and dip the edge of frosted glasses in it. Serve with a straw.

Take 1 part Triumph, 2 parts Smugness, Hypocrisy to taste. Shake with heart shaped ice cubes. Add a twist of Pity. Decant into an empty peach shnapps bottle and serve on a tray with square glasses into which the heart shaped ice cubes have been distributed.

Bitter Lovie
You might as well take one part Melancholy because your kind always do, about three parts Aggression and a splash of Braggadocio. Stir it, go on, you're going to anyway. Serve it in jam jars, for all I care. Chuck in a glacé cherry on a cocktail stick.

Talking Plank
Take 1 part ruby Essence de Chatelaine, 1 part pearl white Nostalgia, 1 part sapphire blue Bonhomie (warmed) and pour carefully into a tall glass to form three separate layers. Now float a dollop of whipped Bigotry on top and sprinkle with hundreds and thousands. Serve with a sundae spoon.

Steve Moran

* By special request

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