Norris, old sport, I was fulfilling my civic duty at Centre Court - Telegraph
"Of course I was on the side of Federer, especially since his opponent had a peculiar habit of bending forward before every point and tugging from behind at the gusset of his shorts. It was very rum indeed." (Boris Johnson)
Yes, afterwards many wanted to congratulate the new champion but few wanted to shake his hand. He had at least that much in common with the author of Portnoy's Complaint.
Why do the organisers allow these abominations now anyway - surely Nadal should have been fined and warned for shorts abuse? Only a few years ago, nobody but Monica Seles had any trouble playing tennis without roaring like rutting bull elephants, now every point is accompanied by sounds that would drown out the Mormon Tabernacle choir in full Hallelujah. The same goes for billionaire, diamond-earringed footballers gobbing great gouts of phlegm at every turn. It's unnecessary, disgusting and a show of contempt, just as when a passerby spits at your feet.