What was the last kind of cookie you ate?
- A biscuit
Which character do you identify with in Friends?
Did you secretly hate your prom king and queen?
- Do you mean porn king and queen?
Which member of the Monkees did you have a crush on?
Which would you say invented punk: The Ramones or Billy Idol?
- Never mind the bollocks
Would you be embarassed to catch your Mom kissing your Pop on Thanksgiving Day after some eggnog and a few turkeys?
- It would worse the other way around
Oldsmobile or Corvette?
- I don't follow baseball
Bush or Schwarzennegger?
- Both, assassinate them both
Leno, Carson or Blankbunkio?
- Baby cakes
Cheerios, Grape Nuts or Doughysoggers?
- Fleetwood Mac
Do you like to dip biscuits in gravy or do you consider it unladylike?
- I like to dip ladies in gravy
If a British person asked you if you wanted to smoke a fag, would you (a) say "Yes, welcome to the NRA", (b) "Not really, but I wouldn't mind tying one to a rail for a while and whipping them lightly", or (c) I'm sorry I can't understand you, get your teeth fixed.
- Duelling banjoes
Is it essential to present a corsage on that important first date?
- Not till the last date
How many dates before you let him or her know your first name?
- Never let them know, and spray them with mace if they ask
Do you think we should change our national anthem to America the Beautiful?
- Ask an anarchist a stupid question
Should the soccer Premier division be moved to Florida, now that we own it?
Daisy Duke or I Dream of Jeannie?
- On different nights
When was the last time your Mom and Pop held a cocktail party for the boss?
- We had chippolatas once
What is the best foreign movie you have ever seen?
- The Graduate
Did you ever wear somebody's pin when they went road racing?
- Is the Pope a bear?
Gun control: ban automatics, no or maybe?
- Eat lead punk
Chitlins or Grits?
- Roman Catholic
Do you remember your first Ritalin?
- It went by so fast
How about your first hickey, and where was it: his car, your car, your mother's car, your father's car, your town car, your beach car, your SUV or your drag racer?
- My first Hickey, was Mrs Hickey in number 39.
Is the death penalty applied too leniently, should it be more painful: yes, maybe?
- Save the human
Chain gangs: should they be saved from floods or serve them right, leave them?
- Make one out of Bush, Blair, Cheney and Rumsfeld and throw them overboard
New Orleans: worth the hassle, let it sink or give it back to Mexico?
- Maybe there's something better on another channel
Why do foreigners hate us?
- Because we conquered them and then tossed them aside