At last we'll be able to take on the Thunderer, gobsmack the Guardian, outshine the Sun... How? Thanks to typical Euro incompetence. A mix-up in the Spanish lottery ("El Gordo") has resulted in a windfall for yours truly and a number of other lucky people whose names and addresses got mangled in some Brussels banana-straightening computer. All I have to do now is send my bank account details and signature by return to Madrid, on the fund transfer form provided* to claim the sum of 596,879.94 euros. And all thanks to Mr Antonio Pratt of Allan Security Company S.A. whose eagle eye spotted this marvellous Euro cock-up and kindly took the trouble to notify the beneficiaries by post. Give that man a medal.
*One tiny thing, Mr Pratt, you might like to check the spelling on that form. I don't think "Paided by" sounds right. Feargal?