I am very disappointed with Feargal Moonway's [sic] flip-flopping over this issue. Where exactly does Gravitas stand on tailgaters and justifiable homicide now? He has been going around promising to dole out free SAM shoulder-launched missiles to holders of Advanced Driving licences and Neighbourhood Watch chairmen, and now we read that the Willesden Herald has persuaded him against including the death penalty for tailgaters in his manifesto. How can we ever trust anything he says ever again?
Feargal Mooney replies:
I don't recognize my policies from this reader's description. I have been completely consistent in what I've said to voters in Brent East. Vote for me if you want to blow up cars with booming sound systems waking you up in the middle of the night. I never said anything about named brands of rocket launcher. Now let's get back to the real issues in this election, i.e. how to get me elected.