Now incorporating the Sudbury Hill Times. Getting really wintry, isn't it? Well, autumnal to be more precise. So how are you anyway? ... Sheesh. ... Yeah. ... Oh dear. ... Well, take care. Good to see you. I hope you enjoy the show. And don't forget to turn off your mobile phone. ... Thanks. ... Ow! Bloody hell, that hurt! ... No, no, I'm fine. ... Cheers. Yeah, see ya.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Don't say "Another bloody sunset"*



Onion Mbeke

*Are you out there Ossian? Can you contact me. Ed.

Friday, May 28, 2004

"Bad people have celebrations too" - Gen. Mark Kimmitt

Yeah, remember Thatcher saying "Just rejoice."

Remember that big party in Abu Graibh.

Every time the US massacres innocent people around the world, doltish couch potatoes around the world celebrate.

Dept of the Blindingly Obvious

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

The Special Relationship

Advertisement

From the same team that brought you the hilarious "Friendly Fire"

Suggestions invited

for how to drive bureacrats to extinction


With every damn letter that Brent Council sends to Herald House, they include a set of brochures that probably cost about £2.50 to produce. The most boring bureacratic piffle is accompanied by these weighty tautologies. It's bad enough having to recycle their blasted rubbish for them, but they have the effrontery to conduct this arrant wastage in the process of demanding more and more money from us. Who will rid us of these doltish parasites?

Ed.

Beautiful things

mysterium



Don't miss this, if you can stand a little New York apartment envy. Interesting observation about the Diamond Sutra too, apparently printed in China 600 years before Gutenberg's Bible.

Ossian

Monday, May 24, 2004

"Investigate this" - and they smashed his head in

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | 'I will always hate you people'

The US military claimed in the note that Dr Izmerly, a distinguished chemistry professor arrested after US tanks encircled his villa, had died of "brainstem compression"

When democrats attack, "at least there's always an investigation."

Over There Dept.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

President only slightly hurt

Bush crashes mountain bike

It was due to loose earth on the track. Not loose enough.

Pratfalls Dept.

Friday, May 21, 2004

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Likud's mascot is made homeless

Ostrich Roams Besieged Gaza Camp from Broken Zoo | Reuters.com

I forget, did God give Gaza to Moses?

Luis Fellini

Weather Report



There were very dark clouds on the northern horizon this evening.

Willesden Meteorillogical Station

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Golden Willy Awards

Nominations for 2004-5


For the first time this year, a new category will be introduced for "World's most Boring and Pointless Newspaper." First on the list of nominees is: Computer Weekly.

Simon Moribund

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Israel massacres Palestinians in reprisals

The long genocide continues


Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | 12 Palestinians killed in Rafah incursion

Look at the picture.*

Ghetto Watch

*The Guardian has just been named Newspaper of the Year at the prestigious Picture Editors' Awards. More
Duck and Cover

Ready.gov - From the U.S. Department of Homeland Security

What to do when their gamble is lost, and your life is ruined.

Warren Turr

Sunday, May 16, 2004

SORRY!

WE WERE HOAXED


We apologize to our readers for publishing a picture of Bush and Blair on location for their new movie, a remake of Midnight Express. We were the victims of a malicious satirist.

Effective forthwith, I have decided to strip Feargal Mooney of his title "Acting Editor." From now on he will have to take his chances as a freelance.

I will come out of retirement temporarily, till a replacement can be found.

Eddie 'Red' Woodward

Then again some of these "War War War" pictures can be quite "Educational Educational Educational," don't you think? To be fair to the government, they did promise before the last election that their three priorities would be "Education, Education & Education," and it must be triply educational for our children to see the pictures from Iraq all over the TV, the Internet and the Newspapers. They might as well learn about the sadistic and perverted world that we have prepared for them, all about the depths of human degradation, and thirdly about impunity and self-satisfaction. A cabinet insider told me as much, off the record, and she added that our small children have to learn to deal with all of these issues - instead of just pfaffing around building sandcastles and so on - if the rate of increase in the suicide rate is to be reduced "in real terms." (Note to myself: Margaret can sound quite plausible at times.) Ed

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Wildflowers of Willesden

The garden ignoramus - an occasional series

A blessing from Father Arroyo for anybody who can identify these flowers spotted in the woodlands around Herald House.*

Onion Mbeke

Sponsored by Mrs Haverty Global Enterprises (UK) Ltd. All rights reserved. This means you! Copyright © 2004. Registered with notaries public on all continents, recognized and protected by all signatories to the Berne Convention. The moral right of Mrs Haverty to be identified as the sponsor of this exclusive promotion has been asserted in accordance with the Designs and Patents Act, as amended. Any person who carries out any illegal act in connection with this promotion shall be subject to summary execution.

*The first four were snapped this week. The last two are reprinted from last summer. Ed.

Letters

Leisure Connection Watch


Leisure Connection have contracts from Brent Council to run Vale Farm and Willesden Sports Centre. I know they do a poor job at Vale Farm and at Leisure Connection Watch you will find details of sad stories in other boroughs.

How do people find standards at Willesden Sports Centre?

Paul Burns

Thursday, May 06, 2004

First review

A review of The London Silence by Stephen Moran :: The Compulsive Reader :: A Haven for Book Lovers



Interesting to hear from somebody who just sees it as a book, and has no connection with me. I've never thought of the book in the way that Bob Williams describes it, but his comments are fair enough. I would argue that Joseph is more than a loser (if I could think of anything to back that up.) Perhaps this will spur me to write a sequel.



Ossian

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Cherry blossom days



click me



With apologies to readers on low-bandwidth connections...

Onion Mbeke

If dogs can only see in monochrome, why do they have such wonderfully variegated coats? Ed.
Update July 2013: A recent experiment proved that dogs can differentiate colours.