Now incorporating The Sudbury Hill Harrow and Wherever End Times

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

We're doomed

I was saying to the "trouble and strife" last night, one day our bed will be crushed by heavy machinery in a landfill. All of our furniture will be smashed and dumped or burned. Everyone we ever knew and all of their children will be dead. Every trace that we ever existed will have disappeared. Someday too, Paris will be vaporised together with all Parisians. The Louvre and Mona Lisa will be dust. Where the Palace of Westminster stood will be a rocky desert. There will be no such thing as houses or homes. No art, no love, no religion, no people. No Sun and no Earth. The only way for humanity to survive is to become nomads in space, sailing convoys of spaceships to the ends of the Universe, in search of places to settle and materials to build more ships.

And do you know what she said? She said, "I hope you put out the recycling."

Simon Moribund

2 comments:

Comments 2003-2004 said...

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That's not logical captain

How can there be a rocky desert when there's no Earth? Have you nothing better to do. This system has been running like one of Ed's greyhounds when it's been nobbled with ten tins of corned beef before a race.

Post by : Ossian (host81-128-246-113.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )


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Simon, if you are feeling down, isolated in an impersonal uncaring universe in which there are no answers but only refuges such as Christianity or cocaine or pornography, I can put you into a barbiturate coma for three months and we can see how you feel when you come round.

Let me know.

Post by : Dr Gerald Francis (ret'd) (webcacheh03a.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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Thanks!

That actually sounds pretty good. Let me get back to you on that.

Post by : Simon (host81-128-246-113.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )


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I wish I'd thought of that.

Post by : D. Blaine (host81-128-246-113.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )


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I did it for some American chap and he liked it so much that he is on a maintenance dose...i.e he can just about stand up if he is leaning on something, and I believe he became something high up in the government.

Post by : Dr Gerald Francis (ret'd) (webcacheh09b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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never a dull moment

you lads! Ha ha ha ha. Laughter, they say, is the best medicine.

Post by : Cheryl (cache-rq06.proxy.aol.com / )


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re: Christianity, cocaine and pornography

Certainly the items listed provide some relief to the melancholic, but studies have shown that combination treatment with all three, plus regular masturbation, is more effective than any one of the therapies alone.

Post by : P. Dante (host81-128-246-113.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )


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That much appears to be true as far as a proportion of the clergy are concerned but I really do wonder whether the list can be complete without the inclusion of whisky or whiskey.

Post by : C. Menstaines (webcachew05b.cache.pol.co.uk / )

Comments 2003-2004 said...

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I really couldn't sanction those 4 items together since they historically lead to fondling, if not of oneself then often of pubescent lads, followed by guilt and apprehension that at some time in the future the act will be revealed. This in turn leads to an increase in dysphoria. It is a vicious circle, and by that I am not referring to the popular Catholic pun about about choirboys' backsides.

An addiction to any of those 4 refuges is a recipe for increased melancholia and any added item leads to an exponential growth in potential for scandal. The Church may be willing to absolve the errancy but the courts are increasingly reluctant to do so.

Dr Gerald Francis (ret'd)


Post by : Dr Gerald Francis (ret'd) (webcachew05b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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Praise be!!

Hold firm to the firm Staff of the Lord and He will guide you through the Long Dark Night of The Soul and you will awake refreshed and He will know you and you will know Him.

Praise be!

Gladys Abanjo (Mrs)



Post by : Gladys Abanjo (Mrs) (webcachew05b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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DISGUSTING!!!

Post by : Mr and Mrs Harries (webcacheh09b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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This is a mockery of the Word of the Lord.

You should be tied between two horses and torn apart!!

Post by : Arnold (surname withheld) (webcacheh09b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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Clarification from Willesden Herald Editorial Staff

We have been asked to point out that the letter from Mr and Mrs Harries printed above is not from Mr and Mrs Harries of Cricklewood Lane. They also think the topic under discussion is disgusting but they are not the writers of the above letter.

WH Editorial Team

Post by : Willesden Herald Editorial Staff (webcacheh09b.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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You lot crack me up.

Post by : I. Duncan-Smith (host81-128-217-94.in-addr.btopenworld.com / )


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Oh that poor man. Fancy being hounded just for helping yourself to £18,000 of public money! Don't we all help ourselves to a paperclip or two?

Post by : Mrs Bentt (webcacheh04a.cache.pol.co.uk / )


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Yes. I'm on probation for it.

Post by : Billy Hill (webcacheh04a.cache.pol.co.uk / )