The Herald group announces its annual results today. Turnover to date, 0 (pounds sterling.) Pre-tax profit, 0 (US dollars.) Spokesman Simon Moribund said the results were better than expected due to the write-off of all setup and running expenses. Income from Amazon and Cafe Press was sluggish at 0 (Japanese Yen.)
Rumours of a merger with the much bigger Brent Cross Bugle sent Herald shares soaring when the schlock market opened today. Shares in the Brent Cross Bugle recovered slightly after vehement denials were issued by founder, Muzzy "Poorboy" Pirbhai. The Herald's "colourful" founder Eddie "Red" Woodward was unavailable for comment.
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