By-Election today!

Handy summary of candidates' messages

BARDWAJ, Jiten (No description)
The Yoga candidate. Main parties are paedophiles. Iblbblbbldbl.

BARSCHACK, Aaron (Comedy Terrorist)
They let me in here too.

BUTTERWORTH, Brian (Socialist Alliance)
Either me or the other one represents Arthur Scargill.

CREMER, Iris (Socialist Labour Party)
Ditto.

EVANS, Robert (Labour)
It wasn't me, I wasn't there, I was in Brussels. Honest.

FERNANDES, Uma (Conservative)
I'll just grab these and you cough. Say Ahhh!

HALL, Brian (UK Independence Party)
This is not an independent country yet.

HOPE, Alan Howling Lord (Monster Raving Loony Party)
I am a dopey fuck great supporter of the Willy.

IBRAHIM, Khidori Fawzi (Public Services Not War)
"Sshh, don't mention the war."

IMMANUEL, Harold (Independent Labour)
Trust me, I'm a lawyer.

LYNCH, Noel (Green)
Stop whatever you're doing.

MCBRIDE, Kelly (Independent)
Convicted murderers should not be allowed in the army.

MCKENZIE, Winston (Independent)
Brent says "Stop all immigration now."

TEATHER, Sarah (Liberal Democrats)
Don't worry, it's just for one term.

WALSH, Neil (Independent)
Oh yeah, I forgot I entered.

WEISS, Rainbow George (WWW.XAT.ORG)
Visit my website. That's all.


You can still write in Feargal Mooney, if you want a decent candidate. We will assume tomorrow that all spoiled votes were for Feargal Mooney. See who we beat.